Babywearing

The memories of baby E's first year are slowly fading into the recesses of my mind, becoming hazy images filled with a sense of overwhelming love and affection for the little guy.

Before these memories fade any further, I feel a need to write down what I felt during that time to remind me of what it was like.

You know, just in case we decide to have another baby.

Baby E was a terrible sleeper. Terrible is putting it nicely. He is such a bright, attentive baby that it seemed like he just could not relax enough to close his eyes and fall asleep. And all I could hear were my mother-in-law's constant comments about 'babies need sleep to grow, why is he not sleeping? I think he's grown smaller!' ringing in my head so in my fuzzy, tired 'new mama' brain I was obsessed with getting him to sleep.

I guess it didn't help that even as a newborn, his crying was really (incredibly) loud and demanding. He would go from sound asleep to yelling his head off. I was constantly worried that he was in some sort of pain because I would do diaper changes, swaddle then unswaddle, walk him around the house, sing to him, lay down with him, give him wind drops, try to burp him etc. Nursing always helped but then I worried he was constantly nursing and might be having an upset stomach from too much milk.

Almost 2 months

I had seen a shop selling baby slings and carriers when I was pregnant but had some reservations about babywearing. The shop owners were really helpful and took the time to recommend and demonstrate the use of a Sleepy Wrap (now known as a Boba Wrap).

After baby E was born and the minute my confinement period was over, we went to buy a Sleepy Wrap. Right in the store, I wrapped baby E up and he fell asleep almost IMMEDIATELY. I was SOLD on babywearing. It wasn't just for convenience, I am convinced that it saved my sanity as well. 

Looking back, I probably had some postpartum depression in those first few months. Being able to wear baby E in the wrap meant I could keep him close yet still get things done around the home. And at the time, keeping things neat and tidy at home was tied to my mental state. It helped me feel like things were under control.

The hubby was also able to use the wrap and get baby E to nap which gave me a break.

2 months (photo taken by auntie J)

I loved the Sleepy Wrap. LOVED it. It did get a bit warm in our hot and humid tropical climate so I always dressed baby E in sleeveless onesies or thin shirts and he was happy.

5 months

As baby E grew bigger, I wanted a more sturdy carrier. So back to the same shop we went and bought a Manduca carrier. The wide waist belt helps distribute the weight of the baby more evenly which is great for the hubby who has bad shoulders. I could even breastfeed on-the-go with baby E in it.

The Manduca has since replaced the Sleepy Wrap as our go-to carrier and we never leave home without it!

15 months

Baby E has reached a stage where he refuses to be carried in the Manduca anymore. He's also started falling asleep in his stroller without needing to nurse. So more often than not, the Manduca is stashed away in his stroller basket these days.

I guess what I am trying to say is that the phrase 'This too shall pass' is true. Baby E has grown and adapted to life on the outside (of the comfort and safety of my womb) at his own time and the test for me was to take a step back and let him develop at his own pace.

Sleep or Speak?

Baby E has been talking more lately. Wait, let me back things up a bit.

A couple weeks ago, baby E seemed to be settling into a regular sleep pattern which included a nap at 11am and bedtime at 6pm with little to no protest from him. He was super cooperative, like super duper agreeable and slept pretty well. After bedtime at 6pm, he would wake at 10 or 11pm for milk and to say hi to daddy before going back to sleep which is my cue to turn in for the night. Baby E would still drink milk at night while we are sleeping but they would be short, peaceful nursing sessions.

Here's what I think of sleep, pffft!

I recall Dr Teoh (baby E's pediatrician) telling us to be prepared as a child's sleep can take up to 3 years to settle into a regular pattern. That week of great sleeping by baby E gave me hope, maybe a little too much hope.

Because the week after that, he went from great sleeper to fighting the sandman every step of the way. His only daytime nap was pushed to 12pm and is now at 1pm. He would find any excuse to not sleep, like asking to change his clean diaper (which I had already changed in anticipation of his impending nap), taking all his books out to flip through the pages and point out the pictures to me. Or opening up my box of disposable breastpads and emptying the contents out onto the floor and taking all his neatly stacked diapers and throwing them around the room. I tried everything from coaxing, patting, singing, ignoring him to finally losing my cool and being very stern with him.

Not only that but his bedtime has gone from 6pm to 7pm and is currently now at 8pm. His eyes were closing at 7pm, then he started rolling around in bed and shaking his head to wake himself up. Nursing has also become a challenge with him digging his fingers into my flesh and the pinching, kneading and poking was starting to get on my nerves.

But then I noticed he was talking more. In actual words. Baby E's paternal grandparents heard and understood what he was saying as well so it's not my mummy brain playing tricks on me. Couple days ago I swore he said 'Gugu (Ed's sister) go work.' It sounded more like 'Gugu gowerrk'. Yesterday his ah gong (paternal grandfather) bought some durians home in a big brown paper bag. Baby E walked up to him and asked, 'Wat dis?' while pointing at the bag. He says words like truck, baby, koko (older brother), mei mei (little sister) and a bunch more that I can't recall right now.

So I figure his disrupted sleep is a result of his brain working overtime to grow and develop. I also figure his unwillingness to cooperate is part of his growing up process. Or so I tell myself because I've skimmed over the emails that Baby Centre (or whichever baby website I signed up on when I was pregnant and bored) sends that outlines toddler development and says that this is the stage where he figures out that he is an individual with his own opinions on things. Which is a good and normal thing.

Freedom, yay!

I've also tried being less strict with insisting that he stay in the stroller if we are in a reasonably safe place and he agrees to hold my hand 70% of the time. And I also take him out of the stroller in the MRT if he asks me to and I find that he is much more willing to sit back inside the stroller when I explain that we've reached our station.

It's all about give and take. Without having him climb over my head. A real delicate balance.

The payoff is that he actually FELL ASLEEP IN HIS STROLLER on Wednesday after lunch with a friend. And he stayed asleep for over an hour while I had my coffee and a piece of cake in blissful silence. Just me and my sleeping baby.

Best. Feeling. Ever.

Happy 2012!

No photo, just some thoughts.

This time last year, baby E was just over a month old. 

Ok, I lied. 

Maybe just one photo taken around this time in 2011.

Mummy's Sunshine

Our happy, laughing lil' bundle of joy that we constantly worried over. Was he sleeping enough? Eating enough? Getting enough stimulation and exercise? Thank goodness we have a supportive and experienced pediatrician who took the time to address all our questions. Questions like 'What's this blue vein on the bridge of his nose and why is he a bit bluish around the mouth? Is he getting enough oxygen? Should we take him to the A&E???' (Turns out it can be normal for newborns and yes he's getting enough oxygen and his brain is just fine). Baby E's crying is more like YELLING so all the effort it took to cry that might have contributed to the bluish colouring.

Now baby E is a healthy, active almost-toddler and looking back on all our worries (well seems like they were mostly my worries, maybe due to the roller-coaster of emotions I was going through postpartum and being stuck at home under confinement DID NOT HELP). But my MIL cooked fantastic confinement food and I'm very grateful to her for that. I don't know how I would have kept my strength up without her food, especially since I spent almost every waking moment worrying about baby E and not doing much else to take care of my recovering body.

Baby E has been teething the past few days and he's had another allergic reaction to mosquito bites when we visited my mum's place for Christmas. All this combined is affecting his sleep again so I've got my work cut out for me over the next week or so.

Welcome 2012!