A couple weeks ago, I decided to take a day to spend time with E just walking to Yew Tee to run errands. We had just returned from my sister's wedding in Las Vegas and E was having a hard time adjusting back to his schedule in Singapore. I think E was also dealing with the fact that the trip to Las Vegas / Toronto / San Francisco turned me into a very permissive parent. We usually had a packed schedule during the day visiting friends and sightseeing so he was kept entertained almost all the time. I also did not limit his TV time as much as I do at home.
So on that day, I consciously followed his lead and took a stroller out but he would tell me when he wanted to sit in it or when he would like to get out and walk. This is in contrast to days where I have to keep appointments with friends or run errands and for the sake of keeping my schedule moving would bribe E with treats or argue with him about staying in the stroller.
So on that day, I consciously followed his lead and took a stroller out but he would tell me when he wanted to sit in it or when he would like to get out and walk. This is in contrast to days where I have to keep appointments with friends or run errands and for the sake of keeping my schedule moving would bribe E with treats or argue with him about staying in the stroller.
He loves pressing buttons. He pressed the button at the traffic light to activate the pedestrian walk signal. I taught him to always stop and hold my hand when crossing the road.
We walked the usual route through the park. A breeze was blowing leaves by the side of the road and E asked 'What's that?' so I told him about the wind blowing which moves the leaves thus making a rustling noise. He told me he likes the wind, 'E like it!'.
I followed him making his way through the park. He wanted to stop by the playground even though the afternoon sun was beating down and it was really hot. I worried a bit about him getting heatstroke but decided to let him find out how hot the playground equipment was on his own while keeping an eye on him. E loved the medium slide (the shortest slide was too short, he was almost running down it rather than sliding), he tried the tallest slide which was shaped in a spiral but wasn't comfortable to slide down from that height on his own. He also watched a group of boys playing basketball at the nearby basketball court. After 10 minutes, I asked him if he was ready to go as it was so hot. He agreed and said, 'I'm sweating!' while running his hands through his hair.
We walked by the S11 foodcourt which had a fruit seller. A macik (Malay lady) sitting by the fruit stall seemed quite impressed by E walking all by himself behind me. I was pushing his stroller in front and he did not want to hold my hand. She said hi to him and called him 'pandai' or clever in Malay for being so independent. I told her he was stubborn and didn't want to hold my hand but when we came to the road he remembered and grabbed on to me.
When we came to the busy traffic junction at the main road just before the MRT station, I explained to E that it would be better if he sat in his stroller because there were many cars and people crossing the road. He would be safer in the stroller. Surprisingly, he agreed with little protest.
Soon enough, we reached the MRT station and fell back into the usual routine of running errands. However, this time I was not frustrated at having to negotiate with E to keep him inside the stroller and he was in a much better mood.
It's not easy to keep a hold on my temper and frustration builds up when he does not listen or immediately do everything that I ask him to, but I believe that is part of him growing up and asserting his independence. I want to keep him safe but not stifle his development. It's a struggle to be a calm, assertive mother when my plans are torn apart by a toddler who marches to the beat of his own drum. But I will not stop trying and hopefully days like this balance out the days when I'm too worn out to be a good playmate for E.
Soon enough, we reached the MRT station and fell back into the usual routine of running errands. However, this time I was not frustrated at having to negotiate with E to keep him inside the stroller and he was in a much better mood.
It's not easy to keep a hold on my temper and frustration builds up when he does not listen or immediately do everything that I ask him to, but I believe that is part of him growing up and asserting his independence. I want to keep him safe but not stifle his development. It's a struggle to be a calm, assertive mother when my plans are torn apart by a toddler who marches to the beat of his own drum. But I will not stop trying and hopefully days like this balance out the days when I'm too worn out to be a good playmate for E.
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| My goofy boy |
