Mama Take Photo

'Mama, take photo!'

I look down and this is what I see.

Cheese!!(??)

Fingers crossed this doesn't become his default smile for future family photos!

Cloth Diapers

I LOVE cloth diapers.

But when I was doing research while pregnant with baby E, there were so many different terms (AIO, AI2, pocket diapers, prefolds etc) that my head was spinning.

Plus I could not get over my hangup about touching poop, even if it was newborn breastfed baby poop which was supposed to be easily washed away and not very stinky. So we used disposables until baby E was about 8 or 9 months old before I took the plunge and bought some Bumwear diapers.

I'm busy, mom (periwinkle bee print)

Maroon turtle print

Green dino print *rawr*

White with black trim

Love the batik inspired patterns that Bumwear prints on their diaper covers. Baby E's bum has never looked cuter.

I then set about building my diaper stash because I knew I would need the extra diapers (and maaaaybe part of the reason is that there are so many cute diaper prints out there!). He now goes through 4 - 5 diapers a day, I change him often because he's gotten a rash before from being in a pee-soaked diaper for too long (was an overnight diaper, have not been able to resolve the issue so he sleeps in disposables to keep his bum dry and happy).

So now his diaper stash includes Bumwear, SgBum (also local Singaporean brand), Charlie Banana (bought from Takashimaya during their introductory promotion), SunBaby (China brand, bought direct off their website) and Bumkins (US brand, bought through a local seller on FB). 

We still use disposables when out and about for most of the day for ease of use and disposal. If it's a short trip to the supermarket then I leave him in a cloth diaper because I know we'll be home in time to change him. 

Baby E also had some diaper rash issues and I racked my brain to figure out what was happening, stripped his diapers several times, changed the amount of detergent used, tried baking soda etc. I finally realised that all I had to do was add an additional insert when stuffing his pocket diapers because he was peeing so much as he grew bigger!

The best part is cost savings. I'm not under pressure to potty train baby E as the cloth diapers will last him another year or so (maybe even longer) and he can start whenever he's ready. A friend of mine was bemoaning the cost of the XXL sized diapers for her son (1 year older than baby E) and she was trying to get her son potty trained ASAP so that she can stop spending on his diapers. 

Almost 2

We're 2 months away from baby E's 2nd birthday. 

Found a couple photos of him in the rocking chair, I can't believe how much he's grown. I have mixed feelings about this. 

1 month

3 months

Giving mommy the stink eye at 18 months

I feel relief that we've made it this far as a family, pride in my happy-go-lucky baby (now toddler) and some wistfulness at how fast he seems to be growing. 

The first year seemed like it would never end with all the non-sleeping, crying (both baby E and me!) and worrying. But the second year has gone by quicker than I expected and he is nearly 2 years old!

Judging by the last photo, his personality is really starting to shine through. 

And here I thought attitude didn't start until the tween years??

Palawan Beach, Sentosa

I've been wanting to bring baby E to the beach again since the last time he went. So in May we took him to Palawan Beach at Sentosa since it's a family-friendly place. 

I didn't get any pictures of baby E playing on the beach or in the water but there were a few good shots of him running around.

Let's see, where to run to first?

Wiggly foot

And he's off!

Enjoying the view

That's all she wrote!

Punggol Waterway Park

We took baby E to the water play area at Punggol Waterway Park a few months ago. He was wary at first but really seemed to get into it at the end. 

Since then we've taken him to a few other places that have a water play area like Sentosa's Palawan Beach, the roof area of Lot 1 Shopper's Mall and most recently, the pool area at Festive Hotel in RWS.

Look mama!

Water!

Just havin' a looksee...

What does this button do?

Favourite photo of my two boys!

Pointy finger

My other favourite shot of that day

Art Garden 2012, SAM at 8Q

So we took baby E to the Art Garden 2012 exhibition at the Singapore Art Museum a few weeks ago and he had a blast running around touching stuff. I'm on the lookout for more events like this because he had so much fun, it was a chance for him to play and explore without me or the hubby hovering over him and telling him 'no!' all the time. 

Colouring!

Does standing count?

Posing like a pro

Great exhibit for grabby lil' hands

Oops, sign says 'no climbing'

Baby E seems to have nice memories about our visit to the museum. He still tells me about the young couple who shared the table with us and coloured with him. He says 'draw' and 'koko' which means 'big brother' referring to the guy who drew a spiderman rabbit for him.

There was also an exhibit with a microphone hooked up to a sensor and computer that generates images onto a projection screen. The size of the images depends on how loud a person talks (or shouts) into the microphone. This is another of baby E's favourite memories, judging by how often he's told me about it now. He'll mimic holding a microphone and go 'baaaaah!' then point at the wall / pretend projection screen.

I think we all had a really nice time that day. A change from both the hubby and I feeling frazzled and worn out by trying to keep baby E entertained or in-check on our usual outings.

Babywearing

The memories of baby E's first year are slowly fading into the recesses of my mind, becoming hazy images filled with a sense of overwhelming love and affection for the little guy.

Before these memories fade any further, I feel a need to write down what I felt during that time to remind me of what it was like.

You know, just in case we decide to have another baby.

Baby E was a terrible sleeper. Terrible is putting it nicely. He is such a bright, attentive baby that it seemed like he just could not relax enough to close his eyes and fall asleep. And all I could hear were my mother-in-law's constant comments about 'babies need sleep to grow, why is he not sleeping? I think he's grown smaller!' ringing in my head so in my fuzzy, tired 'new mama' brain I was obsessed with getting him to sleep.

I guess it didn't help that even as a newborn, his crying was really (incredibly) loud and demanding. He would go from sound asleep to yelling his head off. I was constantly worried that he was in some sort of pain because I would do diaper changes, swaddle then unswaddle, walk him around the house, sing to him, lay down with him, give him wind drops, try to burp him etc. Nursing always helped but then I worried he was constantly nursing and might be having an upset stomach from too much milk.

Almost 2 months

I had seen a shop selling baby slings and carriers when I was pregnant but had some reservations about babywearing. The shop owners were really helpful and took the time to recommend and demonstrate the use of a Sleepy Wrap (now known as a Boba Wrap).

After baby E was born and the minute my confinement period was over, we went to buy a Sleepy Wrap. Right in the store, I wrapped baby E up and he fell asleep almost IMMEDIATELY. I was SOLD on babywearing. It wasn't just for convenience, I am convinced that it saved my sanity as well. 

Looking back, I probably had some postpartum depression in those first few months. Being able to wear baby E in the wrap meant I could keep him close yet still get things done around the home. And at the time, keeping things neat and tidy at home was tied to my mental state. It helped me feel like things were under control.

The hubby was also able to use the wrap and get baby E to nap which gave me a break.

2 months (photo taken by auntie J)

I loved the Sleepy Wrap. LOVED it. It did get a bit warm in our hot and humid tropical climate so I always dressed baby E in sleeveless onesies or thin shirts and he was happy.

5 months

As baby E grew bigger, I wanted a more sturdy carrier. So back to the same shop we went and bought a Manduca carrier. The wide waist belt helps distribute the weight of the baby more evenly which is great for the hubby who has bad shoulders. I could even breastfeed on-the-go with baby E in it.

The Manduca has since replaced the Sleepy Wrap as our go-to carrier and we never leave home without it!

15 months

Baby E has reached a stage where he refuses to be carried in the Manduca anymore. He's also started falling asleep in his stroller without needing to nurse. So more often than not, the Manduca is stashed away in his stroller basket these days.

I guess what I am trying to say is that the phrase 'This too shall pass' is true. Baby E has grown and adapted to life on the outside (of the comfort and safety of my womb) at his own time and the test for me was to take a step back and let him develop at his own pace.

Sunnies

Baby E loves to (pretend) drive and picked up daddy's sunglasses to try on for size.

Hey babe, how YOU doin'?

Sleep or Speak?

Baby E has been talking more lately. Wait, let me back things up a bit.

A couple weeks ago, baby E seemed to be settling into a regular sleep pattern which included a nap at 11am and bedtime at 6pm with little to no protest from him. He was super cooperative, like super duper agreeable and slept pretty well. After bedtime at 6pm, he would wake at 10 or 11pm for milk and to say hi to daddy before going back to sleep which is my cue to turn in for the night. Baby E would still drink milk at night while we are sleeping but they would be short, peaceful nursing sessions.

Here's what I think of sleep, pffft!

I recall Dr Teoh (baby E's pediatrician) telling us to be prepared as a child's sleep can take up to 3 years to settle into a regular pattern. That week of great sleeping by baby E gave me hope, maybe a little too much hope.

Because the week after that, he went from great sleeper to fighting the sandman every step of the way. His only daytime nap was pushed to 12pm and is now at 1pm. He would find any excuse to not sleep, like asking to change his clean diaper (which I had already changed in anticipation of his impending nap), taking all his books out to flip through the pages and point out the pictures to me. Or opening up my box of disposable breastpads and emptying the contents out onto the floor and taking all his neatly stacked diapers and throwing them around the room. I tried everything from coaxing, patting, singing, ignoring him to finally losing my cool and being very stern with him.

Not only that but his bedtime has gone from 6pm to 7pm and is currently now at 8pm. His eyes were closing at 7pm, then he started rolling around in bed and shaking his head to wake himself up. Nursing has also become a challenge with him digging his fingers into my flesh and the pinching, kneading and poking was starting to get on my nerves.

But then I noticed he was talking more. In actual words. Baby E's paternal grandparents heard and understood what he was saying as well so it's not my mummy brain playing tricks on me. Couple days ago I swore he said 'Gugu (Ed's sister) go work.' It sounded more like 'Gugu gowerrk'. Yesterday his ah gong (paternal grandfather) bought some durians home in a big brown paper bag. Baby E walked up to him and asked, 'Wat dis?' while pointing at the bag. He says words like truck, baby, koko (older brother), mei mei (little sister) and a bunch more that I can't recall right now.

So I figure his disrupted sleep is a result of his brain working overtime to grow and develop. I also figure his unwillingness to cooperate is part of his growing up process. Or so I tell myself because I've skimmed over the emails that Baby Centre (or whichever baby website I signed up on when I was pregnant and bored) sends that outlines toddler development and says that this is the stage where he figures out that he is an individual with his own opinions on things. Which is a good and normal thing.

Freedom, yay!

I've also tried being less strict with insisting that he stay in the stroller if we are in a reasonably safe place and he agrees to hold my hand 70% of the time. And I also take him out of the stroller in the MRT if he asks me to and I find that he is much more willing to sit back inside the stroller when I explain that we've reached our station.

It's all about give and take. Without having him climb over my head. A real delicate balance.

The payoff is that he actually FELL ASLEEP IN HIS STROLLER on Wednesday after lunch with a friend. And he stayed asleep for over an hour while I had my coffee and a piece of cake in blissful silence. Just me and my sleeping baby.

Best. Feeling. Ever.

Cuteness Reminder No. 2

Hey there!

Like my teeth?

And my tongue?

Yep, that's me. I'm the cute one.

I really need this reminder today.

Baby E has officially entered the Terrible Twos and nothing I did today was up to his (extremely) high toddler standards. From refusing to change his diaper, insisting on sitting up to nurse before his nap (which results in him falling asleep sitting up and then waking up when I move him to his bed) to refusing to sit in his high chair, things went downhill pretty quick.
 
He's finally down for the night and there is nothing sweeter than a sleeping baby (or toddler!)

Stroller Comparison

I'm comparing the pros and cons of two strollers that baby E has. The first stroller was approved by daddy E but the second stroller was a total impulse buy on my part.

Ok, so here's the first stroller, the Feebo model by Lucky Baby:

Pros

1. Full canopy, it's also water resistant enough to withstand light rain (took it out recently and it started POURING with rain, the canopy could not handle that and was soaked through).
2. Reversible handle so I could face baby E towards me and keep an eye on him when he was younger.
3. Big basket underneath, I can stuff a whole bunch of things in there plus the diaper bag which is really useful.
4. Well-balanced, the stroller remains pretty stable even without baby E sitting inside to act as a counterbalance to the heavy items hanging off the handles and shoved into the basket underneath.
5. The back reclines flat so it can be used from birth until the child reaches 18kg in weight.

So this could have been our one and only stroller purchase. But some things were bugging me.

Cons

1. Takes more effort to steer, wheels are a bit stiff. When used in the rear-facing position (i.e. baby facing the parent when being pushed), I need to use two hands and brute force to keep the stroller on it's intended path. Also I keep kicking the wheels when pushing the stroller because the front wheels are set quite close together (or maybe I need a more feminine, mincing gait when I walk??). But when put in the forward-facing position, steering becomes much easier.
2. It's a heavy stroller, not easy to fold up and take on a bus if I'm the only one bringing baby E out (which happens quite often since I'm a SAHM). So I usually end up walking all the way to the MRT station which takes about 15mins and it's not good idea in wet weather because a large portion of the walking route is not sheltered.
3. The reversible handle seemed a bit shaky where it attaches to the frame which made me nervous in the beginning.

Otherwise, it's a great stroller which we got for a great price during a warehouse sale at Taime Pte Ltd. It was S$129.00 after discount if I remember correctly.

Now, I've always wanted a lighter umbrella-style stroller with a narrow frame that I could carry onto the bus while baby E remains seated inside. So while out window shopping during the recent GSS (Great Singapore Sale), I ended up getting a Maclaren Quest 2012.

Pros

1. Very easy to push and steer, even with 1 hand.
2. Lightweight, I can lift the stroller onto the bus with baby E sitting inside it and the stroller frame is narrow enough to fit through the bus entrance without getting stuck.
3. Easy to open and fold, the carry strap in the back is also very useful. We got lost while searching for a car in the parking lot and I was carrying the folded up stroller up and down several flights of stairs with minimal effort.
4. The canopy is waterproof! (and detachable)

Cons

1. The canopy is small! But the stroller comes with an additional rain cover, when used together it provides pretty good coverage.
2. The basket underneath is really, really small. I can fit my handbag in it and that's it, no more room.
3. Must remember not to hang heavy items from the handles, the stroller has a tendency to tip over backwards if the items outweigh baby E. When he wants to come out and walk on his own, there is a delicate juggling act involving putting the backrest into a reclined position and the footrest up so that the diaper bag can fit in the seat plus any bags hanging off the back being shifted to the front to re-distribute the weight and keep the stroller balanced.

That being said, I do like the new stroller. It's light and very maneuverable which makes navigating narrow shopping aisles at our local NTUC a breeze. Plus I can get it up and down the feeder bus that services our estate pretty easily on my own (provided it's a wheelchair-accessible bus, I can't get it up and down by myself if it's a regular bus with steps).

So in conclusion, I now use the Lucky Baby Feebo stroller for 'long-haul' trips downtown when I tend to bring a lot of stuff to keep baby E entertained and the Maclaren for short trips in our neighbourhood when I can travel light.

Edit to include:
A fellow SAHM mentioned that when the Maclaren stroller is folded up, the front wheels touch the canopy which can be an issue if the wheels are dirty. I didn't notice that before buying and the scruff marks on the canopy were starting to bother me. Then I realised that the canopy can be detached, so now I take it off before folding up the stroller. I also lock the front wheels so they don't swing around and touch the backrest.

Cuteness Reminder

Hi cutie!

Found this photo in the 'Received Files' folder on my computer, taken by my cousin when baby E was 6 months old.

It put a smile on my face after a particularly challenging day taking care of baby E who is now a strong-willed toddler who knows his own mind all too well.

C is for Curry, and Curry is for me...

Ever since E's graduated to regular food, having meals outside has turned into an even busier event for us. He'd point and gesture at our food and we'd try and figure out where he's going with this (to eat, squish, throw, use it to feed us... in no particular order). There are times though, that he'd cut to the chase. Picture below of our very own curry monster lapping it all up.

Who knew?

Bo chun ... MORE?

Gotta Have Socks

Lurrrrve my socks mom!

For some reason, baby E insisted on wearing socks a couple days ago. It was a really hot and humid day, probably 34C outside and the sun was blazing down.

Yet baby E woke up from his nap, went to his sock drawer and pulled out this pair of socks and insisted that I put them on for him before going off to play with his toys.

Ahh, now my outfit is complete, time to play!

Sometimes I wish I could listen in on baby E's thoughts and look at the world through his eyes. I bet there's some really interesting things going on inside that cute lil' head of his.

1.5 Years

Not sleepy, mom!

Happy 18th months my lil' ray of sunshine.

Have I really been a mom for that long? It feels like longer.  I was so uncertain in the beginning, seeking parenting knowledge from books, online forums and family. Worrying about whether he was getting enough nutrition, if he was growing well. Wondering if my parenting skills are up to the task of raising another human being (my previous experience being limited to four-legged furry companions, big and small. Mostly small). Feeling like every little thing I did affected his mental and physical development and putting pressure on myself to keep him stimulated because I thought if I didn't he would have remained a helpless screaming blob forever (which I now know is totally not true).

Now we've got a routine going that seems to work. I've come to terms with him needing less sleep than other kids, he's already down to 1 nap a day and if I'm lucky he'll sleep for 90 minutes. Mostly he just sleeps for an hour and is up and raring to go until bedtime which is 6pm (thank goodness). I'm still learning about his personality and figuring out how to deal with a toddler who understands so much but still isn't verbal enough to string a sentence together. Constantly reminding myself to trust in baby E's abilities and stop worrying about his food and milk intake. Some days he just can't get enough to eat and some days he's just 'Meh, not really interested today, mom.' His pediatrician assures me that baby E is growing just fine and developing normally.

Baby E now knows a few words but sometimes just grunts and points and expects the correct response from me. It's like having a pop quiz in school and if I get the answer wrong he has a mini-meltdown. Really keeps me on my toes.

We love you baby E, lots and lots!

Breastfeeding at 18 months

This is a follow-up to my initial post on breastfeeding baby E which can be found here.

It's a couple days away from baby E's 18th month of being breastfed. I'm really excited and grateful that we've managed to come this far. Our breastfeeding journey has not been without it's challenges and I'm writing about them on this blog before the memories fade and my brain retreats into lala-land making me think that it was smooth sailing from Day 1.

Which it wasn't, it wasn't smooth sailing at all.

Reading the KellyMom website helped maintain my sanity in the initial few weeks when nothing seemed to be going the way it was supposed to.

I do have to say I am eternally grateful to my mother-in-law who cooked yummy confinement food which helped keep my strength up. And I am also thankful to the ENT my mother-in-law visited to get treatment for her persistent cough because he told her that cow's milk causes lots of problems, not just in adults but also babies and that she should encourage me to breastfeed baby E for as long as possible. I could feel her being supportive with all the fish & papaya soup she made during my confinement month.

However, note to those who are living or tending to a brand new mother in confinement - even a passing remark on how the baby's looking can cause great mental anguish to her! My mother-in-law kept commenting on how baby E seemed to be losing weight every now and again during that first month and on top of his constant crying / yelling and non-sleeping I had a mental breakdown and the hubby came home to find me crying my eyes out after she had passed that comment for the umpteenth time.

However, I'm happy to say that we made it though those challenges and baby E has been on breastmilk ever since. He's recently started asking to drink cow's milk which he seems to like and it hasn't affected his nursing. I drink LOTS of cow's milk in my morning coffee (it's more like coffee-flavoured milk at this point) and my observant lil' guy wanted to have some too.

From this...

To this!

I'm glad we made it this far and I'm looking forward to following baby E's lead on weaning off the boob. He's older now and understands when I ask him to 'wait' if I'm finishing up a task and he'll nurse after so we've got a good system going. He's got 10 teeth in but no biting yet (knock on wood!).

We're still co-sleeping and baby E nurses a few times at night, mostly without waking up and I'm vaguely aware that he's latched himself on and he rolls away when done so I don't squish him.

Last but not least, I have to say kudos to daddy E for being so supportive of us breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Because baby E kicks him mercilessly at night. We love you daddy E!

Great Expectations

I've been writing this post for over a week now, but with baby E going through a developmental spurt with early mornings (4am!) and quickie naps (30mins once a day!), I've not been able to write much. But I guess it's fitting that I finally get to finish and publish this post on Mother's Day. Because this post is all about me figuring out motherhood.

Before having baby E, I knew motherhood would be tough. I knew children tend to wake up at the crack of dawn, that they have boundless energy and hate taking naps or going to bed. After having baby E, I realised that all I knew about children and motherhood was shaped by storybooks and popular media like TV and magazines. 

Happy smiling baby! 80% of the time.

I figured that babies would only cry if they are hungry / thirsty, need a change of diaper or if it was too hot / cold. Okay, these are things that I can easily fix and then the baby would stop crying right?

Turning into the hulk. 20% of the time.

How wrong I was. It took a lot of crying (by both myself and baby E), research and willpower (to fend off unwanted / useless advice from well-meaning relatives) to understand that babies have feelings and emotions too and that they can cry when tired, or upset or just because they need someone to hold and comfort them. The hardest thing was learning to listen to my instincts as a mother and respond to baby E the best way I knew how.

So motherhood is not just about keeping a baby / child clean, dry and well-fed. It's also about being emotionally supportive and giving your child the understanding and respect that another living being deserves. It's also about having confidence in your abilities as a mother to listen and tend to your child in a way that you feel is right.

I hope that I'm doing the right thing by baby E, because motherhood doesn't just fit neatly into a box which makes everything outside that box the wrong thing to do. What works for one family may not work for another and what worked for my own mother may not work for baby E.

Thinking face...

Happy Mother's Day!

5am Comes Pretty Early

Can't sleep anymore, mum

This is what baby E looks like at 5am in the morning, tired but not able to sleep. I'm not sure what affects his wake-up time because he goes to bed at the same time every evening, give or take 10 minutes (sometimes up to 30 minutes).

I've tried making his bedtime later, doing more activities with him during the day to tire him out, adjusting the a/c colder / warmer, dressing him in long sleeves, short sleeves and a bunch of other things but they don't seem to affect his wake-up time. So most of the time he wakes up around 6:30am, sometimes 5am and sometimes 7am.  Usually he's content to nurse in the morning and roll around the bed until I wake up, but sometimes he wakes up and is ready to go immediately. These are the mornings that I dread, I'm absolutely NOT a morning person and I need lots of sleep (LOTS of sleep).

So when baby E wakes up at 5am, I change his overnight diaper then put his Mother Goose DVD on and let him watch until I'm awake enough to start the day with him. Before having kids, I SWORE up and down that I would not let my children watch TV before they turn 2 years old. I guess I have to eat my words now because if I didn't have Mother Goose to distract him in the morning, I'd be a complete wreck.

The hardest things about motherhood so far? Sleep deprivation. I am looking forward to the day when baby E is old enough to wake up, wash up and feed himself independently, that's my light at the end of the motherhood tunnel.